


Oh God oh fuck it's Karkat oh my God everyONE ACT NATURAL-

by 12oclockAM



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Even if Karkat wont do shit, Karkat is neither short nor tall, Karkat is scary, Meteorstuck, Multi, That is It, everyone is worried, he is average height, let's say about 5'7, lets say they are ALL on the meteor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26456515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12oclockAM/pseuds/12oclockAM
Summary: Based off of an Instagram post by _konan756!Everyone is terrified of Karkat Vantas. Even the the empress, even the murder clown, even the horse guy with big muscles that could squish him in an instant, even the human with shades that acts like he has no feelings other then bliss when it comes to irony.And all for naught, seeing as Karkat has never hurt a friend of his in his life, and would never do so anyways.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Karkat Vantas & Everyone, Karkat Vantas/Everyone, and like - Relationship
Comments: 36
Kudos: 180





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I said I was gonna make a fic for it, so i'm doin it. Have a nice read, lads ;)

Everyone is terrified of Karkat Vantas. Even the the empress, even the murder clown, even the horse guy with big muscles that could squish him in an instant, even the human with shades that acts like he has no feelings other then bliss when it comes to irony. Let's show some examples, shall we?  
__________________________

Your name is Sollux Captor and, believe it or not, you are quite excited to meet your friends on the meteor. Or, the friends you haven't already met before the game. You didn't really get too much of a chance to talk to them all while you were fighting so you're counting this as a first meeting.

Almost all of your friends have arrived in the lab except for EQ, NP, and KK. You got to talk to AA KN and FF, which was pleasant until ED decided to show up. No one got into any major fights though, so you're not too upset. You see EQ and NP enter the lab, their heights contradicting each other drastically as EQ ducks so his horn won't hit the top of the door frame.

You kind of got to talk to NP before you all started fighting, so you merely wave to the moi- meowrails as people start to talk to them. It seems TZ, TV, and NP are excited to see each other, which is nice. You're kind of glad everyone is being so calm right now, even if you have important tasks to do and you may never go back to your previous lives. At least you still get to see your friends.

Everyone quiets down when you start to hear heavy foot steps make their way to the lab, and you all stare at the door frame expecting to see your beloved KK. Beloved meaning you are really not excited to see him at all.

He was such a violent person from what you could see in your chats, even if he made sure your friend ship stayed in tact. He came up with the wildest insults and never showed his blood color, and by how heavy those foot steps are you're going to it's above Gold. As he rounds the corner, you're kind of shocked to see how... average he looks. He's about 5'7, maybe a little shorter then that, and his horns are little nubs that look less like horns and more like little orange stubs.

His sign is hemoanonymous, as expected, and you think he's wearing grey contacts to hide his eye color, as well. You still don't know why he does that when he's a threatening fuck and people should be scared of him no matter the cast. And it's obvious he is at least an Olive, which is already filled with crazy shits that are pretty dangerous.

He raises a thick brow at everyone's silent stares. "Wow, fucking hello to you too guys. Great to be here!" He says with fake enthusiasm, and you all flinch involuntarily at his voice; which is loud and raspy. You don't know if it's high pitched or not; it's kind of smack in the middle. GZ, ever the stupid, is not as paralyzed by his moirails presence as long as everyone else.

"Motherfucker, Karbro! You look miraculous as always my pale bro." GZ states in his weird, sopor fueled accent. He walks up and gives KK a side hug, seemingly putting all of his weight onto the shorter troll. KK's face scrunches in displeasure, but it goes unnoticed by GZ. KN clears her throat, a slight curve in her brow showing her slight fear. "Yes, it is good to see you, Karkat. We did not get to talk much in person before the fight against the black king." Her elegant voice shakes somewhat.

KK grunts in response, shoving GZ's hand off of his shoulder. GZ whines a little, to which KK glares at him, shutting him up efficiently. NP walks shyly up to KK, looking up at him from 4'9. She silently opens her arms, as if asking for a hug. KK, sighing, hugs her back for a moment. You can see the smile on her face when she walks back to EQ after the short exchange.

"Alright everyone, you've gotten enough chatter out of the way. Let's do the shit we need to do so we don't, I don't fucking know, ruin everything for us again. To be honest I'd really appreciate it if we didn't make the same mistake twice before the humans actually get here! I'm rooting for you guys or whatever leaders say." As he rants, he sits in a chair and pulls out his laptop, starting to click around at it.

He looks up when no one makes a move, snarling somewhat. "WELL?" He asks, loudly. You all scramble to sit down, even ED, who has this whole 'I am superior over land dweller' thing.

You feel like the Empress just walked in herself.  
\---------------------------------------

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you just can not get ovpurr the fact that Karkitty is so... intimidating?

When mew furst started talking to him, mew simply thought he was a purrust blood and was self conscious about it, but his horns and his height are way too nubby and way too pawll to be a rusty. He is tall enough to be a purronze blood but his horns are, again, a little too small fur that. 

Mew are so glad he let mew hug him, though! Of course, mew were a little scared too, but he let mew! He even hugged mew back! Then mew though he just looked intimidating, but then he started ranting about all of the things mew all have to do, and when mew guys just stood their he got really mad. He looks way scarier when he actually has something to be mad about.

So now mew are talking to the Jade mewman while they are on their way to the metepurr! Mew're really excited to meet the mewmans! They seem so nice, and they look really cute! Mew just hope Equihiss doesn't scare them off. Same fur Karkitty, now that mew think about it. They are purrobably going to be really shocked when they notice how scary he is! Normally mew would have been talking to him non stop! But... peaking ovpurr at him you see that he looks really mad. Mew don't wanna risk it.

He's purrobably talking to the Dave human. Mew secretly put them in a pitch quadrant on your wall in your designated block, and now mew realize that mew REALLY don't want him to find that.

You tune back into your convpurrsation with Jade.

(I do not know how to format pesterlogs yet, I might fix this in the future :/)

GG: so how are your friends??  
GG: are they exactly what you thought they were??  
AC: :33< well  
AC: :33< most of them are!  
GG: most of them??  
GG: what do you mean? :0  
AC: :33< *ac scratches her head in confusion*  
AC: :33< mew know karkitty right  
GG: of course i do!!  
GG: kind of hard not to seeing as he always makes himself known!!  
AC: :33< h33h33  
AC: :33< well he is a lot more... scary then i anticipated  
AC: :33< he is waay pawller then ac is! and his voice is really loud and threatening  
AC: :33< kind of like a lion trying to defend his territory!  
GG: :0  
GG: i honestly expected him to be this grouchy little short stack with an incredibly annoying voice :P  
GG: so hes scary??  
GG: i thought you said he doesnt mean any of the threats he says  
AC: :33< *ac giggles gingerly*  
AC: :33< well... mew s33... ac didnt actually know if he was lioning or not  
AC: :33< ac just really wanted to believe that he didnt mean them  
AC: :33< beclaws thats like... the CUTEST turrope!  
AC: :33< also beclaws i didnt know he looked so violent when hes upset!  
AC: :33< karkitty looks really scary when hes mad  
GG: huh!  
GG: well thanks for telling me that!!!  
GG: ill warn all of my friends!  
GG: well be there soooonnnn!!! :D  
AC: :33< s33 mew soon, Jade!!!  
gardenGnostic ceased pestering arsenicCatnip at 17:42  
\---------------------  
Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you watch, in horror, as Gamzee raises a club to attack you.

You sprint away in the nick of time, though you see no annoyance in his face. He just keeps repeating the same words. "honk. HONK. honk. HONK." He repeats, walking lazily over to you as you pull out your lip stick.

As you hold your chainsaw, you hear a yell from beside you both. "GAMZEE. FUCKING. MAKARA." You flinch, looking in your peripheral to see Karkat, arms crossed and glare sharp. Gamzee pauses, and turns to look at his moirail, dropping his club with a loud thunk. Karkat stomps towards the tall troll, said troll flinching with every step, until he is chest to chest with him, grasping his shoulder.

"What. the FUCK. do you think you are doing?" He asks, his voice low and raspy. You can not move, too scared of angering Karkat any more. Gamzee holds his hands up to his shoulders, his face covered in fear and sweat. "Motherfucker I- I just ran outta my sopor, you know? That shit FUCKED UP my mind so much that it made me MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY." His voice shakes as Karkat's glare hardens, and you see Equius and Nepeta peak through the door way, both wearing worried faces.

Karkat shooshes him, papping his cheek. "Gam. I have to go keep other people from murdering each other. Do you mind not FUCKING KILLING ANYONE??? Like, this is the WORST time for you to go all crazy juggalo bull shit. So, like, fucking, don't. I will KNOW if you try any of that shit." Gamzee nods violently, and Karkat sighs. He turns around to face you, Equius, and Nepeta.

He points a finger at you three. "If he tries ANYTHING, I want you guys to knock him out. Kanaya, Nepeta, no killing." You captchalogue your chainsaw. "And Equius." He stomps toward the blue blood, said troll squaring up and starting to sweat profusely. "If you pull any of that 'I have a fetish for highbloods' hoof beast SHIT I will PERSONALLY come a break your other horn and replacing it with a sculpture of it I made with your remaining teeth. You got that?" He asks, tapping his finger against the stronger males chest, who nods silently.

Karkat nods in turn, and walks out of the room, still seething with rage. You all stare at the doorway, even after he's gone. "I need a towel..." Equius mutters.  
\-------------------------------  
Your name is Feferi Peixes and you're trying to pull Eridan off of your gold blooded frond.

"ERIDAN! Stop it!! You could reely hurt him!!" You yell, as Eridan and Sollux continue to try to krill beach other. You hear Eridan say something aboat how Sollux is disrespecting your royalty as said troll punches him in the jaw.

Sollux uses his psionics to shove him off, Eridan stumbling into you. "Shit! FF, are you okay??" He exclams, worriedly. Eridan growls, standing back up and reeling his fisht back. "DON'T TALK TO HER!" He yells, as he throws the punch. His wrist, though, gets caught by another. You look between Sollux and Eridan to see Karkrab, holding your ex's fist in a tight grasp.

He snarls through his nostrils. "Oh, so first Gamzee is going on a rampage like a wriggler and now you, too?!" Eridan tenses up at Karkrabs voice. "Wwell- uh- K-kar I-" "NO! No no no no no no, if you're going to act like THAT then why don't you go and sit in the corner, too since you want to be so god damn CHILDISH about a fuCKING CRUSH." He let's go of his wrist, Eridan starting to rub the violet bruise ringing around it.

"NOW! Unless you want me to rip off your little fish bulge and throw it into the vast reaches of paradox space so you only even have a chance to get in a pale or ashen quadrant! As if you were even going to get in a quadrant in general anyways!!" Karkrab shoves Eridan into the direction of the corner, Eridan complying begrudgingly. He stays silent though, not wanting to make Karkrab any angrier then he is at the moment.

Karkrab sighs, heavily, and looks at you. You have Sollux propped up on your shoulder. "Feferi, do you think you can help him? I have to go make sure Vriska, Terezi, and Tavros are doing okay and.. you know... NOT killing each other." He shoots a glare into Eridans wave, who shrinks into himself further.

"Shore! Anyfin for you, Karkrab! Thank you for helping us, I don't know what even happened to cause all of this but... i'm just glad everyone is okay! Well... mostly okay." You pat Sollux's shoulder lightly, and he groans in response.

Karkrab only nods in response, going to find the others while you sit down and lay Sollux's head in your lap, Aradia having stood in the corner and stared that entire time.  
\--------------------------------------------  
Your name is Vriska Serket and you have had it up to here with this fucking weakling. Like, seriously, Tavros could do soooooooo many cool things and could be SUCH a help to the team if he would just TRY.

You're telling him this as you continue to shove him into a wall, Terezi trying to grab your arm to stop you. "Vriska, cut him some slack! We all have shit to do, we can't always be training and playing games with you." Terezi says, her voice bordering annoyed if it isn't already. You look back at her. "You seriously think he's been able to do ANYTHING? Oh come oooooooon, Terezi!" You say, incredulously.

If you could see her pupils, you think she'd be rolling her eyes. "Yes! He's done more then you, actually!" You turn around, glaring at your used to be scourge sister. "Whaaaaaaaat?? 'Rezi I have been doing SOOOOOOOO much!! If anything I've probably been the MOST busy troll here and you don't see ME getting cut any slack!" You put your hand on your chest, feigning sadness.

You and Terezi jump when your hear a voice in the doorway. "Yeah right, Serket. You have only talked to the John human and that was because you have a silly little red crush on him." Karkat is in the doorway, and you are confused as to how you didn't hear him stomp in here. You feel Tavros go stiff under your grasp on his shirt, and you roll your eyes. "Oh come on, as if you didn't feel black for him until he rejected you!" You say in a teasing voice, dropping Tavros onto the ground.

He snarls. "No, you see, I had a better reason to like him other then 'He likes Nick Cage'." He quotes you, and you scoff as you walk over to him. Unlike all of the other wimps on this rock, you aren't scared of him. The worst he could do is cuss you to death. "And what's your reason Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaat?" His glare sharpens as you draw out his name, and if you cared enough you'd be worried about his eye brows merging with his eyes.

"Because I genuinely hate him and I thought he'd be a good kismesis. And could you stop verbally putting eight more letters in my name? I get you have fucking wet dreams about the number eight but I'm getting concerned Vriska. Do I need to call Kanaya, if she'll give you the time of day?" He asks, tilting his head. You see Terezi help Tavros up in the corner of your eye, and you groan. "Whyyyyyyyy is everyone pitying this fool!?" You complain, waving a hand in the bronze blood's direction.

Karkat grabs your shoulder. "Because we all like him more." He states, and you slap him. Terezi's mouth goes agape, and Tavros's eyes widen in a mixture of fear and shock. Yeah, that's right, everyone should fear you. As you turn back to Karkat, you learn that you are not who Tavros is scared of. His face is dark, and his mouth is pulled into a grimace. His teeth are showing, which always had two more things above yours. One: they are infinitely sharper then yours. Two: Not only could his canine's be considered fangs like yours, but ever single tooth is pointed like a sharks.

You try to keep your cool though, you don't want anyone denying how amazingly awesome and fearless you are. "Aww did I make the crab more crabby?" You ask, trying to keep your voice stead as you smirk, shakily. He just growls, grabbing a fist full of your shirt. Your face goes straight as he brings you down to his face, you having a few inches on him. "Listen, Vriska. I just had to stop Gamzee and Eridan from murdering our friends. I really don't want to be a hypocrite and end up killing one myself." He mutters into your ear.

You only nod, and he let's go of your shirt. "You okay Tavros?" He asks. Tavros nods, his eyes still wide. Karkat sighs. "Meet me and the others in the lab, the humans will be here in a couple of hours." And with that, he walks out.  
\------------------------  
Your name is Dave Strider and you and your friends see the meteor in the distance as you continue to pester CG, who you have learned is Karkat. You refuse to call him that though, purely to piss him off. He has the funnies reactions to literally anything you say.

Honestly, this has all gone by in a flash for you. One moment you're sitting in your room pestering John and the next you're all in fancy PJ's and are flying to a rock to meet a bunch of Aliens. It's not like you care though. Strider's don't care.

TG: yeah we see the meteor  
TG: should be there in about fifteen mins  
TG: honestly kitkat how could you ever have doubted us  
CG: FIRST OF ALL, THAT IS NOT MY ASS FUCKING NAME AND YOU KNOW THAT.  
CG: SECOND OF ALL, I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DOUBT A GROUP OF PEOPLE FROM THE SOFTEST SPECIES I EVER DID CREATE AND OR HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF KNOWING EXISTED.  
TG: okay first of all if that isnt your ass fucking name then i guess its your normal name  
TG: didnt know trolls had different names when they fucked but hey who am i to judge  
TG: second of all since were doing this now what do you mean softest species  
TG: we are so hard bro you dont even know  
TG: wait  
CG: I'M NOT BOTHERING ON CALLING YOU OUT ON THAT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE JUST BEGGING ME TO.  
TG: im really not but go on  
CG: SO JUST A HEADS UP WHEN YOU DO GET HERE,  
CG: DONT TALK TO THE TALL TROLL WITH CRAZY AS SHIT HAIR AND CURVY HORNS. HE'S ALSO WEARING POLKA-DOT SWEAT PANTS.  
TG: why  
CG: HE JUST TRIED TO KILL SOME OF US AND HE ISN'T COMPLETELY CALM YET SO DON'T TEST HIM.  
TG: the fuck  
CG: ALSO, DO NOT TALK TO THE SHORT AND SKINNY TROLL WITH PURPLE IN HIS HAIR, A DOUCHY AS SHIT CAPE AND SCARF, AND GLASSES.  
TG: okay what did he do  
CG: ALSO TRIED TO KILL SOMEONE.  
CG: SINCE HE WAS BEING SUCH A WRIGGLER ABOUT IT I LITERALLY PUT HIM IN TIME OUT.  
CG: HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO TALK TO ANYONE.  
TG: haha oh my god that is gold  
CG: FINALLY, DO NOT TALK TO THE GIRL WITH A ROBOTIC ARM AND EIGHT PUPILS IN ONE EYE.  
TG: do i want to know  
CG: SHES AN ANNOYING ASSHOLE AND IS A PSYCHO BITCH.  
TG: is that really a good reason to ignore someone  
CG: SIGH  
CG: SHE BLINDED TEREZI, SHE DISABLED TAVROS, SHE HARASSES TAVROS, AND SHE'S KILLED THOUSANDS OF TROLLS.  
CG: IF ANYTHING, SHE SHOULD BE ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST CONCERNS.  
TG: huh  
TG: what the fuck is wrong with your friends  
CG: WHAT??  
CG: THAT'S JUST LIKE...  
CG: AVERAGE TROLL BULLSHIT.  
TG: average troll bullshit  
CG: YEAH?  
CG: WELL, NOT EVERYONE KILLS EACH OTHER. YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT KILLING PEOPLE.  
CG: IT'S JUST... NOT RARE TO TURN OUT TO BE A MURDERER.  
TG: what about you  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: have you killed anyone  
CG: WELL I MEAN,  
CG: I KIND OF HAD TO  
CG: I'VE KILLED A FEW TROLLS, TEN AT LEAST, BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE THEY BROKE INTO MY HIVE AND TRIED TO KILL ME FIRST.  
CG: MY LUSUS IS THE ONE WHO'S KILLED MOST OF TH INTRUDERS, THOUGH.  
TG: what do you mean you had to  
CG: FUCKING  
CG: SELF DEFENSE??  
TG: well why did they try to kill you in the first place  
TG: what did you do to piss off so many people dude  
TG: admit to your crimes  
TG: fess up  
CG: STRIDER, MY LIFE IS A FUCKING CRIME.  
CG: BUT MOST OF THEM WERE JUST PLAYING STUPID GAMES, THEY WERE PROBABLY GOING TO BE TORTURED TO DEATH HAD THEY RUN INTO ANYONE ELSE.  
CG: SOME PEOPLE THOUGH JUST...  
CG: DONT LIKE SOME SHIT ABOUT ME.  
TG: ooohh vantas baggage  
TG: tell me your angsty back story  
TG: also what the fuck do you mean they were just playing a game if it could have killed them  
CG: I'M NOT TELLING YOU SHIT ABOUT ME.  
CG: AND ALSO THAT'S JUST NORMAL ALTERNIAN SLAP STICK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE TO TELL YOU, STRIDER.  
TG: god trolls are so weird  
TG: also we just landed

You look up from where you and your friends are standing and see a head peak out of a door way down the hall. Said head has grey skin, black hair, and cat ear looking horns. She, you think it's a she, gasps excitedly, and waves you all over. She pops back into the room, yell about how the 'mewmans' are here.

You follow John Jade and Rose into what seems to be a laboratory filled with trolls, and you recognize some of them due to the sign on their chest matching the colors of their text. The cat girl one hugs Jade excitedly, and Jade giggles in response, hugging her back. John and Rose both talk to other trolls, a tall one with a red skirt and another tall one that is definitely the girl Karkat was warning you about.

You're about to go warn John about her when a troll a few inches shorter then you walks up to you, his arms crossed and his eyes sharp. You assume this is Karkat from the nubby horns that remind you of his emoticon and the grey sign he bears. You nod at him, and he slaps you in turn. It isn't a painful slap, more of just a really fast tap onto your cheeks.

"Wow dude, we just meet and you're already acting up onto your hatemance with me. I like you dude, but not like that. I am a straight man." He snarls, and you see some of the trolls flinch a the sound. That is... worrying. "Actually, you soggy ass bag, I slapped you because you called us weird. I would never even consider entering any form of friendship or quadrant with someone as displeasing to be around as you." You see tall pretty lady mumble something to Rose, and she nods, both of them exiting the lab and entering a room you all entered by.

You raise your hands in mock defense. "My bad bro, didn't mean to offend. Even though I did." A growl rises in his throat, but you see the tall troll that Karkat also warned you about tentatively place a bony hand onto the shorter's shoulder. "Calm down, Karbro. Let's go motherfuckin chill out while this motherfucker talks to some of our other friends." He says in a slurred voice.

Karkat exhales, slowly, and nods. The tall guy leads him somewhere to the back of the lab, and everyone instantly makes way for them. Also worrying. A tall dude that hasn't talked to you before seeing as you don't recognize his color walks up to you. He has two pairs of horns and red and blue glasses, and he is incredibly skinny. He basically has your exact body type.

"Hey, I'm Sollux. So I'm assuming you're 'Strider' and or Dave. Mind if I call you DV?" He asks, and hell yeah you get a nickname from another shades wearing cool kid. Definitely not as cool as you though. "Sure. What's up with Kittykat though, everyone seems like he has the fucking plague or something." You jerk your head in the direction the two trolls went in.

Sollux scratches the back of his head. "Well, he actually is kind of terrifying. I hate to admit it but i'd probably try to kill myself before he gets to me, what with all of his strangely detailed threats. He hasn't killed any of us though. Actually, he just stopped three of us from killing me and the others." He explains, glaring at a guy with fins that, again, you think Karkat warned you about.

You nod, looking in the corner to see the tall troll with the crazy hair and similar horns in a side hug with Karkat, who looks like he is going to implode with sheer rage.

You're not terrified at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More views on Karkat's scary side. Which is every side. All of them. It is him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall wanted another, I gave another. Have fun :)

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you can't help but to raise your brow when Kanaya tells you about Karkat. "I beg your pardon? I cannot see how you find Karkat threatening; he looks quite average." You say, sitting on the red the couch in what the trolls have deemed to be the common room.

Kanaya shakes her head lightly. "You have not seen him when he is upset. Or, more upset then he usually is. When he is angry, he is very snappy. Us trolls can tell when danger is about, and Karkat basically radiates that energy. It keeps all of on edge." She explains, her eyes darting back and forth as to make sure the scarier troll is not around. She's gripping her skirt in fear, and you tilt your head.

"...How so?" You ask quietly. She inhales quietly, standing up. "Let's go into my respite block to talk of this." You nod curtly, your hair waving uncomfortably onto your shoulders. You need to get a trim soon, you think absentmindedly as you both journey to Kanaya's nearby room. As she opens the door to her room, you both start to hear stomping down the hall. Before you can look, though, Kanaya grabs you and pulls you into her room, closing and locking the door behind you.

You both hear the footsteps pass by and go down the hallway, accompanied by some angry grumbling, and you tense once you hear them. You hold your breath, feeling as if any noise will get you and Kanaya killed. Once they pass, Kanaya turns back to you, clearing her throat into her fist. "I am sorry I had to shove you. Are your shoulders alright?" She asks, straightening out the nonexistent wrinkles in her skirt.

You nod, still feeling anxious by how quiet she's talking. She gestures towards a little pad of pillows, and you sit down on them, surprised by how soft they are. She joins you, gracefully, and folds her hands together. "Well, I should probably inform you of what happened merely an hour ago.." She starts, and you nod. "Well, Gamzee, the tall troll with curvy horns and an atrocious afro, is a highblood. I have explained the hemospectrum to you, yes?" Nod again.

"Yes, well, he resides in one of the most dangerous casts. His nature is to kill and slaughter, but before all of this happened, he was tamed by sopor, keeping him dazed enough to not cause harm to anyone. He must have run out, because he tried to kill me." Your hands clench slightly. "He was not able to do anything to me though; I am quicker to him due to my slenderness. He was about to land blow on me before Karkat stomped into the room." You relax slightly, though the whole thing goes unnoticed by the jade blood before.

"He just... walked up to Gamzee. He yelled at him and shooshed him. A highblood. A dangerous troll that could have culled him right then and there. He just walked up to him, shooshed him, yelled at him, insulted him, and walked back out. Gamzee was scared enough to not try anything again." Confusion is masking her face and voice. "Well, what is Karkat's blood color?" You ask, assuming he also a purple blood or something. He con not be violet or fuschia due to his lack of fins.

Kanaya leans on her hands, which are perfectly painted on the nails, and sighs from her nose. "I have no idea. No one does. He hemoanonymous, meaning he hides his blood color. I do not think he is a highblood, though; why would a highblood hide their blood color? It makes no sense. They usually take pride in their color. He must be below teal, at least." She ponders, her chin in her hand.

You are going to figure this out.  
\---------------------------------------  
Your name is John Egbert and you are looking for Karkat. Vriska was really insistent on keeping you busy. You're not mad though! Hanging with Vriska was really fun! But you also kind of want to see Karkat, too! After his whole black crush thingy for you, you like to think you've both started to get along alot better! Gosh, you want to meet ALL of the trolls, when you think about it.

You walk around the hallways of the meteor, sometimes using your cool breath powers to zap from here to there. Once you find him, you see he's sitting against a wall with his weird crab laptop on his legs. He's typing really angrily at it, his claws making a pretty satisfying tappy noise at it. You decide to spook him a little, stifling a giggle as you woosh into the air and surround him.

"Kaaarkaattt." You whisper in the little space of air you surround him in. He jumps, glaring at nothing in particular, before scowling, a low growl rising in his throat. His lip perks up in the corner, showing his fangs in an angry snarl. It's...pretty terrifying, actually. His eyes glower at the wall across from him. "John." He says in a low, threatening voice. Shit.

You don't say anything, opting instead for getting the fuck out of there and wooshing far down the hall. As you leave, you hear him sigh, and continue to type. You appear back in front of a tall, broad girl with horns leaning outwards and an insane amount of hair. She jumps a little when you appear in front of her, before smiling, giggling into her palm. "You must be the John human! I didn't think you would come to sea me! I'm honored!!" She says in an excited voice, her fins fluttering a little. You smile back. "Hi! And well, I kind of wanted to get to know all of the trolls! I just happen to see you first!" She nods understandingly, sticking a hand with a golden brace curled around it for a hand shake.

Shaking her hand, you realize her skin is incredibly cold. You just barely keep yourself from shivering, not wanting to seem rude. "Whale, I'm glad you came to me first! I wouldn't want you to run into anemone who would hurt you! Which, i'm shore they won't now since Karkrab talked to them pretty sternly, but I wouldn't risk it." She says, making beach like puns as if it's second nature.

You cock your head to the side. "Wait, are some of the trolls dangerous?" She blinks at you for a second, before realizing that you weren't here just thirty minutes ago and she nods. "Yep. Three of us were aboat to cause a looooot of troutble!" You blink at her, asking her to explain. "Whale, my ex matesprite Eridan started a fight with my frond Sollux, he hurt him pretty bad.. And Gamsea tried to krill Kanaya, and Fishka was being reely rude to Tavros! Karkrab stopped all of them though! I don't minnow how he stopped Gamsea and Fishka from fighting but I have a hunch it's like how he stopped Eridan. Yelling at them." She shrugs.

"Sooo yelling at them just tamed them? Just like that?" You don't see that working out. She starts walking down the hall, signalling for you to follow her. "Whale, not exactly. We're all actually reely scared of him." She explains. "Actually... I don't think Fishka was at first but he must have done something to spook her! And let me tell you, it is reely hard to scare Fishka like that."

As you both keep walking, you pass a room with two people in it. Peaking in it you see two trolls, one with cat ear like horns and an oversized green trench coat, and one with longer black hair, and one broken horn. The latter's back is mostly facing you, but you can kind of see their front enough to see a solid blue insignia on their chest. The two seem to be playing patty cake, with the taller one being slow and gentle, as if not to hurt the shorter, while the shorter one is going really fast, tripping up over the taller's slowness.

The cat one sees you and waves excitedly as you walk by the room, the taller one seeing you, but not making any move to interact at all. You wave back, smiling, as you and Feferi continue to walk. "So, how exactly is Karkat scary? I kind of witnessed it earlier but I thought that was just... a troll thing? Sorry if that sounds offensive! I-" You splutter, but Feferi only giggles. "No, no, you're fine! That actually is a troll thing! Trolls are reely violent most of the time. Our frond group is actually pretty tame. But, Karkrab is a little above average on the scary factor. He always sets off all of our danger senses, even when he isn't that mad." She explains, her hair bouncing around her shoulders and legs as she basically skips through the hallway.

This is concerning.  
\-------------------------------------

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you might just motherfucking shit yourself.

Your moirail is having a tantrum over one of them humans. Talking about how racist and idiotic he is. You've long motherfucking since gave up on just sitting him down and shooshing him, and he's long motherfucking since gotten up and started pacing around his respite block, knocking books off shelves and holding his hair and growling and doing everything that makes you scared as shit. 

You voice these thoughts. "Hey bro, uh... you're kinda freakin' me out here. You mind just sitting down, letting me hug you, calmin' down a little." You suggest, quietly. Karkat pauses, looking at you. You feel like you've fucked up, like you've just entered a room filled with a bunch of bark beasts that haven't eaten in nights, like you've just enraged the empress herself.

Instead of doing anything that could paralyze you for perigees on end, he just sighs, and sits next to you in the horn pile, a sad honk wheezing with him. He leans onto your shoulder. "Sorry Gamzee. I just... he just REALLY gets on my nerves. And he finds it fucking funny, too! UGH." He flops backwards, making a loud, miraculous chorus of honks. You run your hand through his hair, watching as he calms down just enough to not start yelling anymore, and deflates into the pile.

'You could cull him right now.' A voice in the back of your pan whispers. You shake your head somewhat, no, no you can't do that. You're sure he wouldn't even let you touch him without snapping off your point stumps. 'Yes, but you won't die. He is still a disgrace to the messiahs.' The voice urges. You look down at your palemate, seeing his calm, unguarded face. He wouldn't expect it. He wouldn't think you would do this after his threats. Empty ones, probably.

You slowly uncaptchalogue your club. You remember how nice to felt to swing it around at Kansis. Why did you pause for Karbro? He can't and isn't gonna do shit. You're a motherfucking highblood, and what is he? Not a highblood, that's for sure. You may not know what he is but you know he is lower then you, and that's what matters.

Raising your club above your head, you stare down at his peaceful face. His head would look nice on a shelf, all round and smooth like that. You smile as you bring down the club.

It connects with..something. It isn't Karbro, you know that, but it connects...with the horn pile. God dammit. Where did he go? How did he dodge you? Fuck you're in for it. Your head snaps this way and that, trying to find where the smaller troll ended up, before you feel cold, sharp metal rap around your neck. "Shhhhhhh." Karkat whispers, patting your head.

The effect just...doesn't work. You're paralyzed. You can't move, your breathing is shallow. You're fucking terrified. "Gamzee." He says quietly from behind you, and you shudder. "I know me slitting your throat won't kill you, but I am sure it will hurt. It will hurt a lot Gamzee. So, what, the fuck, did I say?" He asks, he voice filled with sweet venom. You swallow.

"You... you told me not to go all up and kill anyone.." You repeat his words from when he first caught you. He pats your head again, and you inhale sharply. "Yeah. Yeah, I did say that. So, are you going to try and pull that shit again? Or do I need to tell the others that they won't be seeing Makara any time soon?" His voice doesn't sound mad, which is the scary part. He sounds calm, collected, but there is a hint of darkness in it. It makes you want to scream.

You inhale again. "I-i won't try to motherfuckin kill anyone else. I swear on it." You hate how weak you feel. How you have to submit to him right now. But that hate is blanketed in several layers of fear and dread. He plucks your club out of your hand, captchaloging it. He moves beside you onto the horn pile, the horns making a sound that you now hate, and he gently moves your face to look at him.

His grey eyes seem to glow in the darkness of his block, and his face is completely straight. You can't even tell if he's still angry or not. He paps your cheek. "Good answer." He smiles, and even if it was meant to be comforting, it was sure as hell not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a POV of the man himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Karkat a little OOC because when everyone is scared of him like this of COURSE his ego is gonna go up. Also he's already a lot different in this fic.

Your name is Equius Zahhak, and you may have just seen it all.

Your moir- meowrail was just talking to you about how she thinks the b100 eyed human would make great kismesis with Pyrope. You agree emptily, not actually knowing where any of this was coming from. An then the Highb100d walked into the lab, looking like he just saw his own lusus being ran over by a hoard of musclebeasts.

"Are you alright, highb100d? You do not seem... well." You ask as Nepeta looks at him in confusion. He just rubs the back of his neck, looking at the ground. "Motherfucker... I have no fuckin' clue." He sits next to you with as much grace as a three legged woof beast. "I was just... hangin with Karbro... and like... I got all mad and shit again... And like... I moved to motherfuckin hit him and shit cus my pan was fucked up at the time, and he just. Motherfuckin. Appeared behind me. I didn't even see the motherfucker move! I didn't FEEL him move! The pile would have wheezed out one of its miraculous HONKS if he even shifted. He seemed so damn calm too and I... I motherfuckin couldn't even speak." Trauma laces his usually lazy voice, and you and Nepeta glance at each other.

As much as it is to your distaste to admit, Vantas is definitely an intimidating troll. He's no where near as tall or STRONG as you, but he's very agile. You've seen him work with his sickles while you were training some of the others before the fight. Of course, not that much had been able to be done, but you still saw him. It was graceful, and sharp. You had wanted to ask him where he learned to move like that, but he seemed a little angry at the time. You decided not to bother him.

"That sounds really really scary! Do you think he's still mad?" Nepeta edges a little closer as she says that, definitely somewhat scared. Nepeta is not one to take lightly herself; she is definitely a dangerous troll. But even you are slightly concerned. Gamzee shrugs, helplessly. "I don't even know if the motherfucker was mad in the first place! He looked so... calm. It was fucking terrifying." He shivers, curling in on himself at the slightest.

You don't even know what to think about Vantas anymore except one thing: Stay on his good side.  
\----------------------------------------------

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you love it here.

At first, you played angry intimidating guy so that no one would try to find out your blood color. But after seeing that it makes everyone basically piss themselves at the sight of you, you've come to love being and angry asshole. No one messes with you, no one annoys you, and everyone listens to what you fucking say.

Of course, you're never going to actually going to hurt anyone. You'd feel like an ACTUAL asshole if you did that. And if anyone figure this out or suspects it, you'll just kill off Vriska and make then scared again. A win win. No more bitch, and you getting to be leader again.

You actually were pissed off when Gamzee tried to kill you again. So pissed, in fact, you couldn't even register it. Now you know that going deadpan makes them a lot more scared then when you're normally angry. You wonder how they would all react if you did something like smile or laugh. Thinking about this, you don't actually think any of them have even seen you smirk. That... would make perfect entertainment.

This in mind, you go to the only troll you know who would play this out with you and not tell a soul.  
\-----------------------------------------------

You find Aradia fairly quickly, as if she knew you were looking for her, and she smiles her creepy, bright smile when she sees you. "Hi there Karkat! You look like you have something in mind. What can I do to help?" She stands in front of you, being slightly taller. You smile, evily.

"I've realized the other idiots have never seen me show any emotion other then pure rage. So, want to make me 'laugh' in front of the others and see their reactions?" You use air quotes, and her smile only brightens. "Karkat, that is the best idea you've ever told me." She says simply. You both grin evily as you make your way to the lab.  
\----------------------------------------------

You're both standing in the hallway, right next to the lab door. Everyone is in there at the moment, chatting it up. Aradia smiles at you, and mouths 'now'.

You laugh, heartily. It's a laugh you've used before when crab dad slipped and was just screeching on the floor the entire time you laughed. The laugh become genuine as you remember that, and you see a few heads peak at you through the door as you start to snort, even. Aradia is laughing with you, just as happily. John, brave as the boy can be, walks up to you both, laughing awkwardly.

"Hey guys, haha, what's so funny?" You see Dave cringe slightly from where he hides in the doorway. You snort as Aradia makes up a false explanation. "Oh! Hehehe! Karkat was just telling me about some stupid scene in one of his movies even HE doesn't like." She giggles into her hand. "Karkat does a pretty funny impersonation of Nicolas Cage's weird face!" You see John's face go straight with disappointment, and it just makes you laugh harder.

Everyone else, visibly weirded out, go back into the lab awkwardly. You and Aradia are still giggling to each other as you both begin to walk away.

Yup. You love it here.  
\--------------------------------------------

Your name is Dave Strider and what the fuck just happened.

"What the fuck just happened?" You voice. You can still hear their fucking chortling down the hall. How come you can't make Karkat laugh like that? You make fun of the Cage all the time! Sollux just shakes his head, exasperation clear on his face. "Never in my life have I ever seen the word 'HA' or 'THATS FUNNY' end up on my screen from him. The whole time we've seen him here, he has not smiled or laughed.

John rubs his face. "He sounded SO happy! He wasn't even happy to see us OR you guys! Does he really find Nic Cage THAT funny looking?!" Of course that's what he's focusing on. Dammit Egbert. Vriska scoffs. "He looks average though! Karkat must be fucking jealous of his face if he's dissing HIM." She rolls her eyes. Eye. Whatever.

Kanaya looks distressed, grabbing her sleeves. "How come I've never been able to make him smile like that? He said I was the most tolerable troll, I'm sure he finds me of enjoyable company. I don't- I-" Rose just rubs her back.

Who knew someone being happy could cause so much negative fucking emotion.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davekat time, boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaayyy so I actually wanted to keep this story a one shot so im kinda glad that it's ending <:) Thank you all who supported it though! Your comments made my day!! I hope my writing makes yours :J

Your name is Dave Strider and it has been three weeks and four days (and two hours and fifteen sixteen seventeen fucking seconds) since anyone has seen Karkat Vantas.

It's not that you're worried or anything, that is totally incorrect and why would yo ever be worried who do you think you are, it's just he didn't seem to be in the best shape when anyone _did_ see him.

A few days after Gamzee was locked up, no one had even seen a trace of Karkat. Everyone was worried, save for Vriska, and Nepeta and Jade were trying their hardest to boost the moral. "AC thinks Karkitty will be purrfectly fine in the next mew days! He _did_ just lose his meowrail, guys. Give him some time!" Nepeta, ever the optimist, beams. She's always had this obvious little crush on Karkat as far as you know, so you're not surprised that she thinks of him as some hero.

Jade nods, as jovial as her crus- friend. "Yeah! What Nepeta said! Karkat won't let anything keep him from being his bossy self, I'm sure!" Their positivity being infectious, you all believe them. Karkat really does seem strong, physically and emotionally, so you aren't completely against the thought that he will be back soon.

Of course, this thought is buried in other emotions that one hundred percent _aren't_ worry once the ninth day passes.

Jade, Nepeta, Feferi, and Aradia are all doing their best to keep people happy. This has caused Nepeta, the only person other the you who knows where his room is, to not be able to go an find him. Now, you wouldn't say you've ever _hated_ Karkat. He's actually a really fun conversation partner! He stopped getting genuinely mad at you a few weeks into your trip, and joined in on just plain playful banter. It was really nice, actually.

Not that you miss it. That is far too emotional of a word. _Miss_. More like miss these hands if anyone thinks you're pussy enough to admit to- to miss anyone. You're just getting bored and want one of your fun conversations with him is all.

That being said, you get up off of your humongous ass and start towards Karkat's room. You only know where it is because he invited you. He _invited_ you. When he did, you felt like you had one the lottery. He had only ever invited Gamzee to his room and that was because they were in some pale thing. What does that make you two then?

Nope, not going down that path. Instead, you're going to explain to yourself how Nepeta knows where Karkat's room is. Yep, that makes more sense then pondering your homosexual leanings that you don't have. Nepeta had followed Karkat to his room after his little show of laughing at a joke. She was fucking torn over the fact that 'Mewgido' had gotten 'Karkitty' to smile and not her.

You make it to Karkat's door after a little while of walking. He purposefully chose his room to be the furthest it could be from others without it being an hours walk away. He said he would pick one that you have to transportalize to, but the whirring noise of them would let people know which one he came from. Also he really doesn't like them.

You can vibe with hat you guess. Being split apart and put back together somewhere else feels pretty fucking weird.

You press your ear against the door, flinching slightly once it touches the cold metal. You want to make sure you don't knock if he's sleeping, the poor guy barely gets enough now that sopor has run out. You hear something, and after straining to hear you realize that that something is crying.

Fuck. You consider just backing out now, maybe getting Kanaya or something, but then you hear a thump and an even more strangled sob and fuck you can't deal. You open the door without even knocking, light filling the once dark room. You see Karkat, curled up into a ball with his hands in his hair, breathing heavily and sobbing. It's a little disconcerting that his tears are a transparent pink but you don't particularly care at the moment.

Crouching down next to him, you see his pupils are blown wide. You touch his shoulder, and he stills. He doesn't even breath. The only movement are his tears, still racing down his cheeks, which are tinted red. "Karkat? I'm gonna need you to breathe with me dude. You're obviously having a panic attack." His eyes move to look at you, and it's honestly pretty terrifying. His yellow sclera seem to glow in the dim room, and they're tinted a painful red.

He doesn't respond. Just staring at you, unblinkingly. Fuck, this is not you're thing. You don't usually help people with panic attacks or stop people from crying. That's Rose's shit. You exaggerate your breathing, only hoping he gets the point. It takes him a moment to get it, but he starts breathing with you, be it shaky. Once he's got his breathing mostly under control, you sit down in front of him fully.

You're only a few inches taller then Karkat, but you can't help but think he looks so small curled up like this. He's shaking slightly still, and his voice wavers as he breaks the silence. "I'm sorry you had to see that." He rasps. His voice sounds dry, and it's then you realize that he's probably barely been out of his room. It's kind of hard to walk around here without being seen by at least one person.

You shake your head. "It's fine dude. I can understand you being pretty upset about morail or whatever being locked up." He sniffles, wiping his face with his sweater sleeves. "It's moirail, dipshit." You allow yourself to smile slightly at that, and he just breaks eye to shade contact. "No. No I should not be upset about it. Trolls lose their quadrant mates all the time! And here I am being a little wriggler about it. I guess I'm also torn up about him not saying anything to me before he was locked up but... fuck I was _horrible_ moirail, so it's understandable." He glares at his hands, which are curled up in his lap now.

Honestly, you thought Karkat was really full of himself. It's one of the main reasons you like annoying him, because you thought you were breaking down his ego. Apparently you were, but it wasn't even that big in the first place. You broke all he had left, you guess.

Fuck, since when were you so poetic?

"I mean... it might be normal for trolls to lose their lovers but... that doesn't mean you can't be sad about it, bro. If that is a rule then fuck it! You're not on Alternia anymore, Karkles." He looks at you again, brokenly. You skootch closer, opening your arms slightly as an offer for a hug. He stares at you for a little longer, and you begin to think you did something wrong, before his shoulders slump and he bumps his head into your chest, wrapping his arms around you.

It's then you realize how... _warm_ he is. It's like you're standing in that one spot in the house that sunlight peaks through all the time, making it warmer then everywhere else. You revel in it, burying your face into his hair. You don't even think about how gay this all is, it's too nice.

"Whens the last time y' ate?" You mumble lazily after a little while, he shrugs. "I don't really know. I kind of just been sitting in my recuperacoon. I know I snuck out and got something at some point though." He mumbles back, as if he's scared to break the silence. You sigh, running a hand through his coarse hair. It's actually not even as tangled as you thought it would be. The curls and nots disappear in a bit of fluff as your fingers move through them. It's calming.

You both don't make a move for a little while longer until you hear his stomach growl. "If you don't want to go out yet, I'll go get you something to eat and some water." You pull away, though still holding his arms. He nods, looking sheepish. You let another smile slip, and honestly? You feel completely fine as long as it's in front Karkat.

He comes out of his room a few days later, and the meteor is back to normal. The only distance is the soft glances that are shared more often, and your bed holding more then one being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaAAANNggssts


End file.
